"I cook how I cook - heart and balls."

I feel like this quote from Hector really speaks to the character of this sixth season of 'Top Chef." The personalities are over-the-top across the board and I am going to assume the food will be as well - I guess that's why they chose Vegas, baby!



I have decided to step away from my previous recap blah blah blah for the sake of infusing this blog with something different. It's supposed to be a review, right? Not a regurgitation. That being said, the recap will remain, but in a more precise and snarky way. I hope you'll stick with me.



This season begins ambitiously with 17 chefs and the beloved mise-en-place (literally "putting in place") relay race. The winning team then moved onto a cook-off using the ingredient they worked with in the relay. Jen C. (who name-dropped Eric Ripert twice) wins $15,000 with her clam ceviche ('seh-veech,' in her words). People are impressed.



The elimination challenge is centered around creating a dish based on each chef's personal vice. What would yours be? Mine would be either reality tv (*ahem*) or some combination of potatoes, pasta, and cheese/cream. Delicious, right? Well, the chefs broke it down like this: 6 of them chose alcohol as a vice (and almost all of them spoke to a specific liquor), 8 chose a personality trait (procrastination and hot temper each coming up more than once - sounds like a great recipe for a reality cooking show...), and disappointingly (to me), only 3 chose food. You're freaking chefs!! But back to the challenge...they remain in their teams from the relay and cook against each other. The winning dish for each group gets judged for the win, and the same idea for the losing dish. Based on screen time and foreboding editing, you knew Kevin and Jen Z. were really going to be in the mix. Jen Z.'s first moment on screen has her declaring that she believes unpacking will bring bad luck...uh, whoops! Then she chooses to stuff her chile relleno (representing her hot temper) with seitan - a wheat gluten product often used as a substitute for meat or protein. I know! As Kevin said, "Nobody f#*@in' likes that stuff. It's yuck." While she thought this 'bold move' would set her apart from the other chefs, it backfires and the judges hate the way she cooks it. I guess bad meat product is worse than overcooked shellfish and chicken or deep-fried steak. Note to self...



On a more exciting note, Kevin wins for his arctic char, though the editors led us to believe that his procrastination vice was going to trip him up. Sounds like it ended up being right on the yummy money. My personal front-runners are Kevin, the brothers, and Jen C. (self-proclaimed 'bitch in the kitchen'). Other bloggers keep talking about someone named Ashley that I can't even remember. All in all, I think we're in for a fun season, even without all of the Las Vegas gimmicks.



Now, the fun part you've all been waiting for...Top Chef by the Numbers!!!



5 - The number of times the M Resort was mentioned (do I smell a Top Chef Destination vacation?! The finale of the first season was also filmed in Vegas.)

4 - The number of ads for both the Glad Family of Products and the Toyota Prius - and Toyota isn't even sponsoring a prize! 4 is also the lucky number of times the producers let Jen Z. warn us that she's going down this episode.

3 - The number of misogynistic comments made by Mike Isabella. Classy.

2 - The number of times Eve let us know how terrible her shellfish dish was going to be. Way to throw us off the scent, guys!

1 - It only took one statement to let the viewers know (but apparently not the cheftestants) that Preeti's team was going to lose the relay race - lose like she's still shucking clams for the first leg while the blue team won. I bet she learns how to shuck a clam stat when she gets home.



I'll leave you with my favorite Wolfgang Puck quote of the evening (did I mention he was the guest judge for the elimination challenge?), outlining his thoughts on purees: "People think you need the steak and you need some baby food with it." He also referred to a dish as looking like 'chicken testicles.' Haha.