I will not accept this rose...

Congrats, ABC, you've done it again - pulled off "the most shocking and dramatic finale/after the rose special in Bachelor history." Oh, yes, along with most other females in my age group across this great country of ours, I watched 3 hours of "The Bachelor" last night with bated breath, only to be continually jerked around by ABC and Jason Mesnick. Good Lord.

Let me tell you about my history with "The Bachelor/ette." Of the 13 seasons of "The Bachelor," I have watched 4. Of the 4 seasons of "The Bachelorette," I have watched 2. I was first introduced to the show by my freshman year roommate. We watched Aaron Buerge smash 3 ladies into the ground (our favorite was Gwen - second runner-up). Then ABC so smartly brought Trista Rehn (first runner-up from the first season of "The Bachelor") back for the first season of "The Bachelorette." As said roommate had already watched Trista get crushed in the first season, we of course watched Trista's search for love (did I mention that some hall-mates of ours seriously considered a tv intervention in the form of stealing our tv? this may have had something to do with the fact that we would tape stuff in our room, someone else's room, and then watch tv in a third person's room - in hindsight, the intervention may have been a good idea). But as this roommate moved on to another college and I moved onto another roommate (the one who let us watch her tv while we were taping in two other rooms), "The Bachelor" and its derivations fell by the wayside. I didn't even watch Trista and Ryan's wedding.

Fast forward to my after college roommate. She DVRed the entire season of "The Bachelor:Rome" - you know the one with the 'Italian' 'prince' who didn't speak Italian? Enter Ice Storm 07 and a marathon watch session/DVR cleaning out and ABC had me back, even though Lorenzo didn't pick our fave (Sadie). Then, in a GENIUS MOVE, ABC picked a bachelor from Austin - my hometown. Well, I had to watch it (although as a rule, I am not a patron of his bars due to the cast of "The Real World:Austin" - wow, this post is not endearing me as particularly intelligent or social). Then Brad Womack did the unthinkable, and the most awesome thing I have seen to date on this meat market of a show, he didn't pick either girl! People were pissed! Not me, though. I applauded Brad for his honesty, I mean what are the actual chances of finding true love on a reality show with 25 women picked out for you by producers? I mean, really. I read this week that Brad actually knew none of the women were right for him much earlier than the final rose ceremony, but he was contractually obligated to go through the rest of the hoopla. So then jilted DeAnna is the new bachelorette, so I'm already sucked in, and then they go ahead and keep recycling and pick Jason for the new bachelor and now you're up to speed.

My husband and I actually watched this season together, which I really appreciated. We both got into it, had a clear favorite, made fun of everyone else along the way, and were generally glad that we met each other at a club like normal people. We were way pulling for Melissa, though we both had a soft spot for Stephanie, and had a categorical dislike for Molly. Imagine our elation when he finally proposed to Melissa. And then just like that, ABC ripped it away. It didn't even last 5 minutes (much like their relationship - OH!!!). Then Molly just took him back like it ain't no thang. Really? Does this happen in real life? Overall, I feel duped and confused and I don't like Jason anymore. I'm glad he gave ABC some genuine drama, but was it worth it to break two women's hearts in the end? Did the arbitrary DeAnna appearance ensure a confusing finale? Maybe we'll find out tonight on part 2 of "After the Final Rose."

Something I haven't mentioned...Chris Harrison. I'll tell you why - I love the guy. He has the best job and seems to have genuine relationships with these crazy contestants. In his blog this week on ew.com he mentioned that the next time he and his wife go to Dallas, Melissa will be the first one they call to go grab a cold one. Well, Chris and Mrs. Harrison - let me extend the offer that the next time you're in Austin, we'll go grab a cold one. I didn't really love the way he had to coddle the break-up along last night, that was uncomfortable and awkward. But I guess when your contract mandates it (on all sides) you just have to grin and bear it. And while we're talking about ew.com, check out their recaps blog as well. I can only hope to learn to write that way - it's phenomenal. Here's a tease from this week's edition entitled "This is (not) your wife": "And by 'putting it all out there,' she means mounting him on a rented massage table and tenderizing him with baby oil like the big piece of beefcake that he is." I KNOW - AWESOME.

Quick clarification of my "Top Chef" post - I didn't want to imply that I thought that Hosea didn't deserve to win - he apparently cooked the best meal. I only wanted to express my disappointment that Carla (especially) and Stefan did not rise to this particular challenge. Thank you.